PrismaCorp Studios presents · live from the red carpet
The Glinties
Everyone is nominated. Glint is the host.
The first, only and least exclusive awards show in the PrismaCorp universe. Every award is made up. Every winner is real (it’s everyone).
The Voice of the Glinties: “Good evening, and welcome to the Glinties! Everyone is nominated. And I do mean everyone.”
Arrivals
Our nominees, as they arrive. (All of them. They are all nominees.)
Glint, who are you wearing?
Glint: “A rainbow stripe. I’m always wearing it. It’s a look.”
Light Lab, the colours!
Light Lab: “All seven. At once. Subtlety is for prisms with less to say.”
Badge Maker, is that a badge?
Badge Maker: “It says NOMINEE. I made it. I also made one that says ALSO NOMINEE.”
Paint, you look radiant.
Paint: “Thank you. Please don’t touch. Still drying.”
Photo Booth, one quick shot?
Photo Booth: “Only if I can blink in it.”
The Crew, you’re in lanyards.
The Crew: “We’re working. We set up this carpet. We’ll roll it up after.”
The Folding Chair, any nerves?
The Folding Chair: “I’m unfolded for the first time in public. Be gentle.”
Tonight’s categories
Open each envelope. There will be a drumroll. There will be a gasp. Prepare yourself.
Category 1Best Folding of a Chair
The nominees are:
- The Crew, for folding four hundred of them without a word
- The Folding Chair, for folding itself, unprompted
- Glint, for a brave attempt
Category 2Best Supporting App
The nominees are:
- Light Lab, for supporting every colour
- Paint, for supporting the arts
- Photo Booth, for supporting the flash
- Badge Maker, for supporting the lanyard industry
Category 3Lifetime Achievement in Showing Up
The nominees are:
- The Crew, for showing up, every time
- The Folding Table, for standing up, every time
- You, for showing up to this page
Category 4Best Original Lanyard
The nominees are:
- Badge Maker, for the classic clip
- The Crew, for wearing it the whole weekend
- Gaffer Tape, for the one we made out of gaffer tape
Category 5Best Snack Table
The nominees are:
- The Snack Table, for holding it all together
- The Crew, for restocking it twice
- Whoever Brought the Snacks, for bringing the snacks
Accepting on behalf of everyone: Glint
Your host. Also a winner. Also, it turns out, a person who prepared nine pages.
Transcript of the speech
Glint: “Oh wow. Oh WOW. I didn't prepare anything. I prepared nine pages.”
Glint: “I want to thank the Crew, the folding chairs, and the extension cord, wherever it is—”
[The play-off music starts.]
Glint: “Wait, is that the music? I'm not done! I still have to thank the snack table—”
[If you let Glint finish:] Glint: “…and you. Thank you for showing up. Okay. Now I am done.”
In Memoriam
The things we lost along the way. Gone, but never folded.
The Voice of the Glinties: “And now, we remember the things we lost along the way.”
The extension cord we lost at last year’s con
It reached every outlet. It reached further than any of us knew.
The good scissors
Everyone knew they were the good scissors. That was the problem.
One left glove, lost property
Its partner still waits at the front table. We saved it a seat.
The dry-erase marker that still worked
One in a box of twelve. A legend. It never squeaked.
The lid to the big snack bin
The bin remains. Open. Hopeful.
Every pen we have ever lent
They are out there somewhere, writing. We hope they are happy.
The Audience Choice Glintie
Vote for your favourite. Your vote stays in this browser only: nobody counts it, not even us.
Nominate a real volunteer
Know someone who folds the chairs without being asked, restocks the snack table, or just keeps showing up? Tell us about them. There’s no trophy. There is real gratitude.
Or skip straight to being nominated: volunteer with us.